1. Oct 31, 2012 9:01am

    Dirt Bag: Cee-Lo Green Accused Of Sexual Battery, What, Nooooo

    I HATE IT. A sexual battery report has been filed against Cee Lo Green and his tiny hands (not even the rain has such small hands, guyz) by the LAPD. No word on the victim or what Green allegedly did, but cops visited a restaurant in LA involved with the report, which he says he hasn’t even been to in 3 months, adding “Nothing ever happened there or anywhere else.” Please let this end up not being true and Cee Lo continuing to be a densely-packed little ball of joy for all and sundry. [TMZ]

    Gene Hackman smacked the shit out of a homeless guy who called Hackman’s wife a cunt. The two were leaving a New Mexico restaurant when the man, Bruce Becker, approached them “threateningly” and the incident occurred. No charges have been filed yet. [E!]

    Charlize Theron and Tom Hardy are not getting along on the set of the Mad Max remake.

    Charlize and Tom are just not getting on together. Professionally, they are doing a wonderful job, but in-between takes Tom likes to stay in character and is constantly talking to himself and mumbling things. Charlize has tried to talk to him during breaks in filming but he shuts himself off from the rest of the cast… Charlize thinks he’s a weirdo.”

    As ever, you can find me over here on Team Charlize. [Radar Online]

    A new clip from Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 in which a newly vampirized/big-haired Kristen Stewart learns to be a fake human. [Film Drunk]

    New York native Lady Gaga is super bummed about the hurricane—

    And also makes an IMPORTANT POINT (not kidding)—


    Meanwhile, Martha Stewart’s pre-hurricane prep: “Tying up top heavy topiaries, wisteria vines, [and] extra heavy apple tree branches.” [Page Six]

    Some of the faces you can expect in the Gap’s holiday ad campaign: Michael J. Fox and wife Tracy Pollan; Nas and his blues musician dad Olu Dara; Jack Huston and his dog; the cast of The New Normal; Gia Coppola and Nathalie Love; Rufus Wainwright and his husband Jorn Weisbrodt, and Aubrey Plaza. [Page Six]

    Jen Aniston and Justin Theroux went shopping for furniture. (“Yeah, we’re looking for an ottoman that says ‘smug marrieds.’”) [Us Weekly]

    Marissa Jaret Winokur lost a lot of weight. [People]

    Keith Urban wore a really, really small bathing suit. [TMZ]

    Snooki and baby-daddy Jionni LaValle might actually just be together for publicity. GASP. [Radar Online]

    "Over the course of two hours or so, we rolled around, kissed and gave each other oral. We’d take breathers and then start up all over again. He seemed to have an insatiable appetite for sex and never really appeared tired." —A male escort details his alleged tryst with Joe Simpson, and furthermore, ick. [Radar Online]

    Ed Sheeran got a “RED” tattoo after Taylor Swift’s album. They’re dating, I guess? Or something? Hello rrrreeeeebound. [Mirror UK]

    Steven Tyler has lost his fiancée, the poor baby. [Page Six]

    Soulja Boy and Bow Wow started a Twitter feud. [Bossip]

    Newly wedded Levi Johnston owes a gazillion back months of child support and Bristol Palin is (justifiably, IMHO) up his butt about it. [Radar Online]

    JUSTIN BIEBER GOT A TOUR HAMSTER AND NAMED IT PAC. [People]

    Katy Perry and Russell Brand went to the same Lakers game and the world did not explode. [Daily Mail]

    Simon Cowell appeared on Leno looking “fuller in the face” and maybe he got work done, or maybe not? BBL, going to Gray’s Papaya now. [Daily Mail]

     
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